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Joke of the Day

"You sit quietly under a needle for hours getting a tattoo but if I touch you with my ice cold feet you let out a bloodcurdling scream."

"I'm giving up on the argument... From now on I will pronounce it 'gif'."

"Failed my biology test today... They asked, ""What is commonly found in cells?"" Apparently ""black people"" wasn't the correct answer."

"My baby was coughing and choking and I panicked because I didn't know what to do. So I grabbed the bong out her hands before she dropped it."

"funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers a day seems necessary"

"""Whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it"". Clearly whoever came up with that ad doesn't watch CSI."

"What is the difference between a guitar player and government bonds? Government bonds mature over time and earn money"

"I'll act my age when I'm 69 lol"

"When I get multiple friend requests on MySpace, my pager goes crazy."

"How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you? She gives you the eye."