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Joke of the Day

"What's the sexiest thing about the holocaust The shower scenes"

"What gets wetter as it dries your mom"

"Sometimes I just want to slap the stupid out of people, but I'm worried it'd take up my entire day"

"What's the difference between Ellen Pao and hitler? Hitler at least helped his people."

"I tried... I tried reading a book about self-hypnosis but it keeps sending me to sleep."

"One time I fell asleep on a pile of change. When I woke up, my face looked like Mount Rushmore. (This isn't so much a joke as just something that happened.)"

"What do you call someone who hates people without toes and can't have ice cream? Lack-toes intolerant"

"What do you call the death of a superior? A promotional opportunity."

"*forgets Netflix password* *sends email reset* *forgets email password* *sends reset to backup* 20 resets later: *opens 2nd Netflix account*"

"What do you call a recently created sub-atomic particle? New-tron."