84151
Joke of the Day
"Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock."
Next Joke
"Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of."
"Lately every post on /r/Jokes has become a pun in the English language :( It's not pun anymore."
"The best part of finishing a long piece of writing is when the laptop hits your talentless loser foot as you boot it off a roof."
"What do you call two turds getting intimate in heaven? Holy Fucking Shit."
"I haven't lost my virginity yet Because I never lose"
"What's a necrophiliac's favorite band? Coldplay."
"Slavery is such an ugly word... I prefer the term lifetime unpaid internship."
"brogressives: white males who identify as progressive but won't challenge white supremacist capitalist patriarchy 4 fear of being implicated"
"The ruling that legal papers can now be ""served"" on Facebook is ridiculous. Don't they know the people they're looking for are on twitter?"