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Joke of the Day

"I forgot my coffee this morning so I'm gonna drive on the rumble strips along the side of the road all the way to work just to be safe."

"I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go. If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura."

"Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? [NSFW] Because it's full of Arab seamen."

"What symphony is a pedophiles favorite? Mozart's magic flute in A minor."

"Let's spend the rest of our next 5 to 7 years together."

"Why did the 2 stem cell researchers get a divorce? Because they grew a part."

"I like my women like I like my coffee I don't like coffee."

"What's a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted."

"How do we know the Earth was born on April 22nd?"

"i mute every grouptext cuz friendship is cool but also generally annoying"