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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3"

"Hey guys, remember that one time, when Clinton was president and gas was a like a $1 a gallon and people had money and jobs and shit?"

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh... ...and if I put my ear against it I can smell the ocean"

"If I get kidnapped, I'll sing Christmas songs until they hang themselves."

"what did they start calling the timelord after he started frequenting one too many prostitutes? doctor whore"

"I dreamt I was in a very magical world where people didn't get butthurt over every little f*cking joke. Weird huh?!?!"

"Don't worry if you found yourself alone on Valentines Day...its not the end of the World...that's still 10 months away."

"Everyone knows someone whose laugh is always funnier than the joke."

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"

"What's Thor's favourite piece of clothing? Thunderpants"