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Joke of the Day

"Mel Gibson, Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are showing up."

"*speaks at high school graduation* Your 12 year free trial has expired. To continue your education please submit your credit card info."

"Poor Pascal... he gets no girls at all... but at least his name is the SI derived unit of pressure used to quantify internal pressure, stress, ... Coincidence?"

"im dating: britney spears rn"

"What does a gentleman say to his friend at the gay bar? ""May I push your stool in for you?"""

"What's the difference between Pizza and Jews during the Holocaust? Pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven."

"I turned on my computer. It said hello. Its a dell."

"Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.. A fake name and a fake number."

"Sent my ex a card that said, ""Get better soon."" He's not ill, just really crap in bed."

"WAIT, THERE'S NOTHING IN THIS AIR AND SPACE MUSEUM!"