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Joke of the Day

"im dating: britney spears rn"

"News report: Al-Qaida training monkeys to use AK-47s in battle. Not only is that scary, it's pretty much the coolest thing I've ever heard."

"Professor: Today's exam is written. Next week we will do oral Class in unison: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND"

"Who would win in a fight between John Cena and Chuck Norris? Depends on who wrote the script."

"Hey check out this new candle I got. -Sweet. What flavor is it? I think you mean 'what scent is it?' *with a mouthful of candle wax* -What?"

"Yuck: I do not recommend Volkswagen's new Meat Lover's Jetta."

"Donald Trump was down in Rio at the Olympics. He wanted to see how high the Mexican pole vault team was getting."

"What's Italian Alzheimer's sound like? ""Whoa! fuggodaboutit!"""

"I'm giving up sex for Lent.. .. It shouldn't be too hard."

"If you can't afford to get your wisdom teeth removed... Try crystal meth, it really is a miracle drug. *disclaimer: may remove more teeth than expected."