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Joke of the Day

"A Canadian walks into a bar A metal bar. BANG! ""Sorry!"" says the Canadian."

"My first day in prison & my giant cell-mate wants to play house. He asks me if I want to be Mama or Papa. I tell him I'll be Papa. ""Ok Papa. Now get over here and suck Mama's dick."""

"How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough."

"I'm not a violent person. I just really enjoy assisting people in falling down."

"Why can't SCAT be legally banned? I could've gone my whole life without seeing that shit."

"A brunette doing laundry asked her blonde friend to help her find a match for her sock. The blonde replied ''What for? Are you going to set it on fire!''"

"Where does a snowman keep his money? In the snowbank. I'll see myself out.."

"Pretty sure my refrigerator is having sex with itself from all the noises its making."

"Guy went to the toilet, took the piss."

"Ruger is coming out with a new pistol called the congressman... X/post from r/guns .....it doesn't work and you can't fire it."