83955

Joke of the Day

"When you say the word ""poop"" your mouth makes the same shape as your butthole when you poop The same can be said for ""explosive diarrhea"""

"Hey girl, do you like bad boys? *tries to look cool by flicking my cig, but it's an e-cig so I have to run and get it*"

"Fairy tales My granddaughter asked me, ""Do all fairy tales begin with ""Once upon a time?"" I said, no, some begin with ""If elected, I promise to........................"""

"Why did the dictator's plane crash? It was stallin'"

"what's for dinner? ME: indian we had indian last night ME: i know, but i forgot to do the 'i see a little sillhouetto of a naan' joke so"

"If Reddit up/down voting were to be applied in real life as an immediate feedback of the spoken word crowed subway trains would be a much quieter place."

"How do you make a space party? -You PLANet"

"Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity? Do you know the definition of insanity?"

"All my CDs are in my ex's car. I'd get them, but I don't want to face her. Plus I don't have the equipment for diving to the bottom of the river."

"Lost three toes in a wood-chopping accident and my girlfriend dumped me Said she's lack-toes intolerant"