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Joke of the Day

"Fairy tales My granddaughter asked me, ""Do all fairy tales begin with ""Once upon a time?"" I said, no, some begin with ""If elected, I promise to........................"""

"How many eggs does a Frenchman need? One, because that's an Oeuf."

"The handicap parking at the special olympics must be insane"

"What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building? 20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*"

"I fucked myself last night. I wanted to get first-hand experience."

"Why should you never run behind a bus? You will get exhausted."

"If George Washington were alive today... he'd be clawing at the inside of his coffin and screaming incoherently."

"My husband says shaving his legs gives him an advantage when cycling, but I don't get how the high heels and pantyhose help."

"""Oooo, a window. Let's see if I can fly through it."" - Dumbass birds"

"Q: Why did the schoolteacher who was in love with head of the school take out a loan with the bank? A: Because she had an interest in the principal."