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Joke of the Day
"Life is like a box of Chocolates It doesn't last as long for fat people."
Next Joke
"When I'm horny, I stroll into rooms on all fours, with my ass shaking up in the air, meowing incessantly until someone throws a shoe at me."
"If I got $1 every time somebody called me a racist I'd have tree fiddy"
"According to my iPhone 6, I could commit a heinous crime, without using gloves, and have a different fingerprint just minutes later"
"[One to tell militant women]: how many women on their period does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [Meekly] ^just ^one..."
"Some days I think Forrest had the right idea when he dropped everything and just kept running."
"Q: Why is Bill Clinton called ""middle of the road Democrat""? A: Because he's got a wide yellow stripe down the middle of his two-lane back."
"I asked 2 girls if size matters. They both said this is something they often debate. Girl # 1 said she likes them big. Girl # 2 said she likes them enormous."
"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"
"I just make stuff up as I go. I call it Jazz Parenting."