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Joke of the Day

"Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache... suddenly she's not your friend anymore?"

"Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!"

"Here's your social security card. It's paper and has to last you forever. Don't laminate it. Good luck asshole."

"the people who make lyric videos on youtube are the backbone of this nation"

"Where do blind people got to get their college degrees?"

"I don't know why I just bought some coconut shampoo.... ...I don't even have any coconuts"

"Miss Piggy was arrested for smoking weed. When the cops asked her what she was thinking she replied, ""Kermit said he wanted baked ham for Christmas."""

"I think the best way to reduce stress in your life is to be wealthy and attractive."

"What does a priest get when he wants pussy? Nun"

"If I hear people screaming, I always go check on them. Not because I'm nosy or some kind of hero. There might be ice cream."