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Joke of the Day

"TOP REPUBLICAN PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: 1) Ted Cruz 2) A gun 3) Your racist uncle 4) A gun in a cowboy hat 5) Jeb Bush 6) Literally a turd"

"Make love not war... Or do both - get married."

"Gang tip: If a rival gang tags their symbol on your turf, don't cover it. Add a drawing of Calvin peeing on it. Now who's stupid? They are!"

"Justin Bieber was caught smoking weed. Right now weed is denying it to its cool friends."

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"My first post. It's also a tech pun. Konrad Zuse's Z1 was so slow it hertz."

"My office's password has been hacked. That's the third time i've had to rename the cat."

"What disease do donkey's get from eating too much fast food? Aspergers.."

"What's the best kind of alcohol for your liver? Nonanol."

"Doctors say eating a piece of Bacon takes 9 mins off your life...if my math is correct i died in 1781"