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Joke of the Day

"I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know."

"I hate it when I sit down on a warm public toilet seat and I have to set myself on fire."

"Southeast Asia isn't known for their wine. But I'll never say no to a Filipino Grigio"

"A wise chinese guy once said to me ""if the dog barks, it's undercooked"" - Some wise chinese guy"

"For just 2 quarters a day, you can send 2 quarters a day to African children. African children love collecting quarters."

"A boy asked his rich uncle for a cowboy outfit for his birthday.So the uncle bought him a used car dealership."

"Two muffins are in the oven . . . One turns to the other and says ""It's hot in here"" the other looks at him and screams ""Fuck me! A talking muffin!"""

"I heard that loneliness can take 10 years off your life! I'm gonna die in 20 years."

"What do you call alcohol distilled by the Avengers' enemies? Hydra-Gin"

"Peanut Butter and Jam Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass."