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Joke of the Day

"While those 2 guys at the bar were just fantasizing about what they'd do with powerball winnings, I stole their ticket."

"If life hands you lemons, ask it why it has hands."

"Pedophiles are... .... Fucking immature assholes."

"Sometimes at the beach it's like ""gross, is that a condom?"" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children."

"Tupperware: When you want to throw out your food some other day."

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"

"How many religious women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nun. I'll^hear^myself^out... EDIT: Formatting"

"After years of courting her , she finally said yes Followed by 'thats him, officer'"

"How many maple leafs does it take to change a tire? Only 1, unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up"

"Why are african americans so good at sports? Because of hard work and dedication."