83686

Joke of the Day

"Think about a future where humanity has no choice but to leave earth. It's unsettling"

"You know what they say, once you go black.... You're a single mom."

"Trumps wives were immigrants Proving again that they'll do jobs Americans won't"

"I hate it when homeless people shake their Change cups at me..... I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it."

"Why did Moby Dick join a heavy metal band? He could really whale."

"Then god created Saturn, And he liked it. So he put a ring on it"

"If you had to choose between voting for Trump or getting into the water with sharks, would you dive in or do a cannon ball?"

"My super buff friend told me he never uses any fitness supplements... I didn't believe him and said ""no whey?"""

"If you were transported right now to Mars you should be able to jump 62.5% higher... [anti-joke] But you can't because you would be dead. No spacesuit = not alive."

"2 integrals are working out at the gym One asks the other 'What are you doing today?' 2: 'Well, I think I can really push my limits' 1: 'Oh right, are you sure?' 2: 'I'm definite'."