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Joke of the Day

"Michael J Fox walks into an ice cream parlor... And the guy behind the counter says ""what flavor would you like?"" Michael say ""It doesn't fucking matter, I'm gonna drop it anyways"""

"What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo"

"Have you heard the joke about the guy addicted to brake fluid? He says he can stop anytime."

"""Now, tell me I'm pretty"" -me as a hypnotist"

"Bad is accidently sending your buddy a dirty sext intended for your girlfriend. Worse is getting 'lemme think about it' for a reply."

"People call me peanut-butter... Because everywhere I go, folks be gettin' jelly."

"One man's sprinkler is another man's bidet"

"What did they name a mountain nobody gives a shit about? Moot Point"

"How do you make Hitler cry? Easy just show him his gas bill."

"More of a riddle, actually. I happen once a year, but twice a week. You can easily find me in a store, but you won't see me in a mall. What am I?"