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Joke of the Day

"More of a riddle, actually. I happen once a year, but twice a week. You can easily find me in a store, but you won't see me in a mall. What am I?"

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"Are you addicted to masturbation? Reach out to me and we can beat it together."
"DATING IN THE 1800s 1) Get telegram from Mae 2) Wait to respond. Don't be desperate 3) Get telegram that Mae died of dysentery while waiting"
"I was born to be happy... not normal."
"What is Somailias national dish? An empty plate"
"How many homeless people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. Homeless people don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in cardboard boxes."
"Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !"
"My girlfriend from high school called today. She's stoked about getting her driver's license."
"Why did Matthew Arnold go swimming before writing Dover Beach? Before writing the poem, he felt he had to do some sole-searching."
"What do you call a line at a Vietnamese restaurant? A pho queue"