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Joke of the Day

"Are you alone? Because you're showing high interest."

"""Iowa man arrested after fight over peanut butter and jelly sandwiches"" - I'm just gonna assume this is 1 of you guys"

"The pig jumped into bed with my 6-year-old all by herself. It was super cute. Then the pig threw up all over her. Considerably less cute."

"What did Admiral Ackbar say when he saw someone unfolding a 10'x15' sheet of canvas? IT'S A TARP!!!"

"[1st day as cop] captain: ""why did you call for back up"" me: ""there was a fly in my car"" swat team leader: ""what exactly do you think we do"""

"Why couldn't the amputee rob the bank... Because he was unarmed"

"Best way to get a girl to come home with you is to tell her you own 3 lava lamps seriously what girl wouldn't want to see 3 lava lamps"

"Werewolves are notoriously hard to find... Otherwise they'd be known as Therewolves."

"what do you call fake spaghetti? impasta."

"Why did Elon Musk's wife leave him? she asked for sex and got S3X instead."