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Joke of the Day

"I went to the movies with a girl last night. I paid for the tickets & the snacks, & anything else I can before she reports her card stolen."

Next Joke
 
"I love being complimented on my parking skills! Someone even left a note on my windshield saying ""parking fine""."
"My jokes :("
"MOM: always open the door for a lady [later on date] ME: Let me get that for you [reaching under stall door for lock] please stop screaming"
"Being the first to move in chess. It's a white privilege."
"What did the chicken say before laying an egg? Yahoo. There goes my baby."
"What do you call a squadron of baby soldiers? Infantry."
"If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy."
"I've never seen a nudist I wanted to see naked."
"What do you call a French guy wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope"