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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever woken up because of a boner? Alarm cock."

"When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, I wasn't prepared for all the changes I'd have to make... ...like my name, phone number, job, city where I live..."

"Don't play pocket hockey... the referee is a dick!"

"People are always asking me, ""When are you going to learn to drive?"" I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi."

"When is a train being polite at dinner time? When it choo's quietly."

"I like dig bick. you that read wrong. you read that wrong too."

"What did Gordon Ramsey shout angrily at his girlfriend? ""IT'S ALL PINK IN THE MIDDLE"""

"while memes are a great gateway to wasting your life away online,, they're not for everyone . ask your doctor if memes are right for you"

"What do I know about dwarves? Very little."

"My Doctor told me I'm pregnant... I told her she's got to be kid-in-me"