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Joke of the Day
"Lipstick Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?"
Next Joke
"those fake living rooms at IKEA should have a couple in them trying to assemble IKEA furniture and fighting"
"I saw a sausage fly by my window I must be going insane it was actually a bird. I think I've taken a Tern for the Wurst"
"Me: *gets all four daughters dressed* Wife: I want everyone in Christmas dresses. Me: But- Wife: Everyone. Me: Fine. *puts on my dress*"
"VA Nurse joke What is the difference between a VA nurse and a bullet? * A bullet can draw blood * A bullet can be fired * A bullet can only kill one person"
"What do you call an elephant that looks like a rhino? 'Elephino."
"I have an unemployed wife and two kids. I am definetly not DINK. I am SITH. Single Income THree dependents."
"I dropped french class because my teach was a dick... I was late on the first day and he said i was a retard."
"Why are pills white? Because they work"
"What does a push up bra and a dictatorship have in common? They both oppress those on the inside. They both lie to those on the outside. And they both raise monuments to the fallen."