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Joke of the Day

"Two whales are swimming in the ocean. One whale opens his mouth and says ""BEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUUGAA BOOOOOOUUUUAAAAAAAAEEEOOOOH"" The other whale turns to him and says ""Dude you are so drunk."""

"A woman gives the news to her husband. - My love , I'm pregnant . What would you like it to be ? - A joke?."

"I have very bad addiction to wrapping gifts. Every time I open a present, I end up rewrapsing."

"Someone hit someone with a knife between his fingers. I guess you could say he...Spiked his punch. ( )"

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a bell? Take these and if it doesn't help give me a ring!"

"I propose that we abolish marriage and engage in 3 year contracts instead, with the option for renewal."

"Why did the seamen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning."

"There once was a girl from Leith... who circumcized guys with her teeth. It wasnt for fame, or the love of the game, it was for the cheese underneath."

"""Oh, this old thing?"" - my cat showing me his butt hole"

"If you're not part of the solution, you're either a solid or a gas."