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Joke of the Day

"A teacher finds his students have drawn penises on the whiteboard, so he rubs them all off. He is now a registered sex offender."

"The philosopher says the glass is half empty, the optimist says the glass is half full.... The sjw says the glass is half-fluid."

"How many Super Saiyans does it take to screw in a light bulb? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL ZEEEEE! (I really hope this isn't a repost)"

"My ""I hate you"" face must look very similar to my ""tell me more"" face. I'll have to work on that."

"How many idiots does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Penis."

"I just fell backwards off a stool trying to get the last few crumbs from a Pringles can into my mouth if anyone needs a wife or something."

"How do you know you're allergic to cats if you don't even eat them?"

"Game of Thrones The only porn you DO watch for the plot"

"On a first date: Her - So what do you do? Me - I am currently working on eliminating all cancers. Her - Wow, that's impressive! Me - Then I'll move onto Capricons."

"A deer, a skunk, and a duck went to the grocery store. When they were ready to check out, the deer didn't have a buck, the skunk didn't have a scent, so they put it all on the duck's bill."