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Joke of the Day

"Apple recently changed the gun emoji into a water pistol emoji... Meanwhile Microsoft has just changed their toy blaster emoji into a real gun shots fired i guess"

"I invented a new word It's called plagiarism"

"I like my women like I like my wine... 12 years old and locked in a cellar"

"Steve wrote home. 'I'm glad you named me Steve' he said in the letter. 'Why?' asked his mother in her reply. 'Because that's what all the kids at camp call me' he wrote back."

"Roses are red. My name is not Dave. This poem makes no sense. Microwave."

"What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch."

"Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?"

"What is white, 12 inches long, and not a fluorescent light bulb? Nothing."

"I'm impressed with my mom's commitment to saying the word 'the' before every noun. Example: the Walgreens, the AIDS, the Fox News, the Adele"

"Man gets his knob out at the supermarket Clerk sees it and says, ""You're in the wrong place, the locksmith's is next door."""