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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an eight-legged insect holding a magnifying glass? A spy, duh."

"If we can't hit our kids, what's next? A society slowly becoming less violent as we learn more about child development and human psychology?"

"For a period, Houdini used a trap door in every single show he did... I guess you could say it was a stage he was going through."

"What's the ultimate rejection? When you masturbate and your hand falls asleep."

"""I'm done with this shit."" He thought as he closed Reddit, locked his phone and stood up."

"What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico? The Chosen Juan."

"How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone? Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT."

"Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew? Because one more, and it'd be too farty."

"""I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losin' control."" Buddy, you got stomach flu."

"So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy""... Essentially, it's a just a watered-down Manhattan."