209023

Joke of the Day

"What do you call an online encyclopedia for DJs? A wiki-wiki-wi-wi-wi-kipedia"

"Man insisted on pumping my gas. Didn't turn into an euphemism until he squirted all over the side of my car & asked if that's how I like it."

"My friend just told me I don't know how to make jokes. That's shit because I once sent ten of my puns to an online contest. No, they didn't make it to the finals... No pun in ten did."

"A man's idea of serious commitment is usually, ""Oh alright, I'll stay the night."""

"What's Dean Martin's favorite eel? That's a moray."

"Apparently when your girlfriend asks which of her friends you would like to have a threesome with you are only supposed to say one name."

"A girl compliments a guy on his new phone. Girl: 'Nice phone!' Guy: ' Thanks! I won it in a race.' Girl: ' Who were the participants?' Guy: ' The owner, the cop and me. '"

"A truamatizing joke for a single mother to tell their child(ren) ""You look like your father, whoever he is."""

"REMINDER: Joe Biden is the only American vice president in the last 15 years who hasn't shot a friend in the face."

"Last autumn, a nice flower salesmen sold me some poppies in some cool cylinders. Oh boy! Two more months and here I come, fall opiate tubes!"