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Joke of the Day

"Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks."

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"On my 5 year old's report card it said, ""He is encouraged to ask more questions"". ARE YOU KIDDING ME."
"My boss fired me today for accidentally deleting over 1000MB of important files He told me I lost the gig..."
"What dog do other dogs tell their problems to? A complaint Bernard!"
"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"
"""Cool hand, Luke."" - Darth Vader, enviously"
"In the medical community, death is referred to as ""Chuck Norris Disease"""
"When Dracula went to the blood bank, he said: ""Do you deliver?"""
"What did the dog say when he bit the sandpaper? Nothing. He just grit his teeth."
"On the demolition teams last job... They did a bang up job"