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Joke of the Day

"Two dyslexic bank robbers attempted to rob the local bank today. (NSFW) They ran in and said ""Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up!!"""

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only if the light bulb wants to change."

"Q: What did the sink say to the water faucet? A: You're a real drip."

"Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists."

"I asked Yoda: ""Are we going the right way?"" ""No, backwards, I am going."""

"Anal with my girlfriend made my day. But it made her hole weak."

"In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY. My best time so far is 7 min."

"Say ""No, TWO drugs."""

"If my wife googles images of breastfeeding its perfectly okay. But when I do it, and substitute 'big and wet' for 'feeding', she gets angry."

"Don't hate every single one of your friends yet? Get Facebook."