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Joke of the Day

"""More like LOTION pictures!"" - awkward conversation in an adult movie theater before the show starts"

"What was Hitler's favorite Yugioh card? Blue Eyes White Person"

"Senior year of high school is a lot like a retirement home... You don't work anymore, you hate everyone who's younger than you, and in a few months, all of your old friends will be dead to you."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Rubber-Toe! (Roberto)"

"I offered my Muslim girlfriend a bite of my gorilla sandwich but she shook her head and said... ""That's haram, bae."""

"Me: *eating a Mars bar* Martian: Good grief where will I obtain alcohol now"

"I asked my dad who the favourite child was. ""Ask your brother,"" he replied. ""Where is he?"" I asked. He said, ""Buried in the garden."""

"What kind of furniture do pigs like best? Overstuffed."

"Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!"

"Q: Which positions does a violist use? A: First third and emergency."