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Joke of the Day

"Why Seth MacFarlane's Oscars were mean spirited and misogynistic, coming up next after our review of the worst dressed women."

"[OC] Why did Pavlov ring a bell every time a breeze entered his room? Air Conditioning"

"What was the dentist doing in Panama?...Looking for the Root Canal"

"[during sex] HER: this isn't working out ME: *putting sock puppet away* was it something he said?"

"So Jack helps you off the horse. Will you help Jack off the horse?"

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! Its OK Sir there's no extra charge!"

"(Me playing guitar) 3: Daddy what's this song called? Me: Going Nowhere. 3: I know that but what's this song called? Burned by a 3yo."

"How do you get Dick from Richard? I don't know, ask his wife."

"I'd probably be, like, 5% cooler if I wasn't terrified of being on a moving skateboard."

"Real Money Once a Boss said to his subordinate: ""You have always wanted a bonus so I will give you $1,000,000i^2."" The Subordinate: ""Sir I can this amount only on the Argand Plane."""