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Joke of the Day

"(Me playing guitar) 3: Daddy what's this song called? Me: Going Nowhere. 3: I know that but what's this song called? Burned by a 3yo."

"Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket? Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)"

"Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Because North Korea's nukes couldn't reach him there"

"What's the difference between a whale and a toaster? You didn't pop out of a toaster."

"Created a Kickstarter for my movie. Hoping to raise enough for a popcorn and soda too."

"What does santa do with a lazy reindeer? Sleighs 'em"

"What is the most unexpected part of a fast food meal? The element of some fries."

"Knock Knock -Who's there? -The pilot. Let me in"

"What did Sigmund Freud say when he had an epiphany? Urethra!"

"Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go."