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Joke of the Day
"Someone told me I was ""good people"" and I replied ""OMG you can hear them too?"""
Next Joke
"Who is the hamburgers' favourite actress? Candice Berger!"
"I refuse to believe that everybody was kung fu fighting. I'm sorry, but there had to be at least a couple people sitting that one out."
"I got excited when my son joined the cross-country team. But then I learned they don't cross the country and are back home in a few hours."
"My friend said I'm racist. But I'm not racist, I have one black friend."
"my biggest fear is ants working together to lift my house up, and bring it somewhere"
"[at the pearly gates] I said, ""send me a selfie."" Then she said, ""too ugly today."" So I said, ""never stopped you before"" ...& here I am."
"Cop: You were speeding. Me: Objection your honor. Cop: I'm not a judge. Me: Permission to approach the bench. Cop: What? Me: Sustained."
"People who pariticpate in karaoke and are actually good singers are just fucking obnoxious."
"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs? Russel"