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Joke of the Day

"Multiple personalities If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves is it considered a hostage situation?"

"When a friend asked what the sex is like with an older man... I simply said, ""He's got a lot of experience, under his belt"" ba dum tsss"

"Friend at work hit me with this. (Sorry if repost.) If a Stork brings white babies, and a Crow brings black babies. What brings no babies? The Swallow."

"Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons."

"If you're in a bar and a newscaster says, ""Police report the killer left a small doll at the scene,"" don't shout, ""It was an action figure!"""

"Wife: Is Mexican food ok for dinner? Don't just text back k. Husband: Que"

"I'd like to meet a failed scientist, like I do writers. ""I science on the weekends and for free sometimes. I think of it more as a hobby."""

"If an ant smells bad, what is it called? De-Oder-Ant"

"What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?"

"Every time you put on a jean jacket your middle name changes to ""jean jacket"" on your birth certificate."