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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?"

"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? You should know, you've only read it twenty times."

"The FBI's terrorist hotline is not a place to chat with hot terrorists. I know that now."

"What do you call a fear of Alkaline? A pH-obia"

"Sometimes if you say ""Wow, you're tall!"" to a tall person they realize they're tall for the first time and thank you with cash"

"The King and I always have breakfast for dinner on Christmas Eve We call it Yule Brinner."

"5 year old: ""That's a big truck!"" ""It's a moving truck."" ""ALL TRUCKS MOVE."" Why am I the one that feels like an idiot?"

"*sees Salvation Army bell ringer* ""Here you go, buddy. Merry Christmas!"" ""Sir, we don't accept children."" *runs away*"

"Probably the hardest part about being God is deciding between two equally terrible youth soccer teams that have just prayed to win."

"I haven't gone to the washroom in 2 days No shits given"