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Joke of the Day
"What does a Spanish cow say? Muuuuuuuey!"
Next Joke
"Date: So what do you do for fun? Me: [Flashes back to me tightly strapping a Rolex around a quail] I love bird watching."
"you can't watch porn on the new iphone they took the jack off"
"i just bought a rape whistle... and the look on my victims faces is priceless."
"You know the best part about dating a homeless chick? You can drop her off wherever."
"Did you know that Boy George's pet reptile bit 7 people today?! I think he needs a calmer chameleon"
"What is the best part of having Alzheimer's? You`re always meeting new people."
"Who is the best Podracer in Star Wars? Michael Chewbacca EDIT: Some people don't get the joke..... Michael schumacher is a F1 race car driving legend. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Schumacher"
"When I'm dead, these tweets will be worth twice as much."
"a group of ducks are gathered around a ouija board. the glass slowly moves, B-R-E... *the ducks tense up* ...A-D *ducks go fuckin nuts*"