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Joke of the Day

"When a friend asked what the sex is like with an older man... I simply said, ""He's got a lot of experience, under his belt"" ba dum tsss"

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"I lost two things today: My virginity and my job as a morgue assistant."
"What's the hardest thing about roller blading? Hearing that fucking joke all day."
"Today is national suicide prevention day.. so remember.. If you see any suicide bombers...... Shoot them."
"This one trick will make you feel young again. Made you look."
"How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb? Violent revolutions never change anything."
"What's the most confusing day in Harlem? Fathers Day!"
"What does Harry Potter say after he purchases slaves? I expect to Potter-own 'em."
"How can you tell if your sister is on her period? Your dad's dick tastes funny."
"[After reading vows] Me: Why are you upset? Her: Me: Was it the Donald- Her: Yes, it was the Donald Duck voice."