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Joke of the Day

"Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I'd call them Tomaskateers."

"At the Last Supper... [At Last Supper] *Jesus raises bread* ""This is my body!"" *Jesus raises wine* ""And this is my blood!"" *Pulls out 9 of Clubs* ""And this is your card"" *Apostles go nuts*"

"In my country you can't fight with corruption but you can deal with it."

"What did the pirate say about the steering wheel in his pants? ""Arrg, it's driving me nuts!"""

"""War and Peace 2: Woody Saves Buzz"" (Tolstory)"

"Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese."

"Why are there commercials for milk? Who still doesn't know about milk?"

"So I just got back from a trip in Germany, and I realized how awful American children are. While they may be nice and all where I live in NYC, kids in Germany are kinder."

"Know how drunk girls go out of their way to insist how sober they are? The same rule applies to a guy who always talk about how ""big"" he is."

"Yea, in life Jesus was a great man... ...but it was only when he was nailed to the cross that he became holy."