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Joke of the Day

"Yea, in life Jesus was a great man... ...but it was only when he was nailed to the cross that he became holy."

"I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot."

"This month is called ""February,"" that stuff is called ""snow"" and unless you live in what's called the ""tropics,"" drop the shock and awe."

"What do women and dog-poop have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up."

"What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky"

"Teacher: ""Which book has helped you the most in your life?"" Student: ""My father's check book!"""

"Me: But where do you see this relationship in five years? Her: Sir! For the last time, do you want extra cheese or not?"

"When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? When there's a sail on it."

"What's the difference between Martin Luther King and Donald Trump? Martin Luther King had a dream and Donald Trump is a nightmare."

"A midget walks into a bookstore... ...& asks clerk: 'do you happen to have any books on irony.' The clerk points to a shelf: 'top row.'"