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Joke of the Day

"I went to the School of Engineering formal this weekend. Walked up to a girl... ""Are you a civil engineer... cause DAM GIRL!"" she went home with me..."

"Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A. Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug."

"Did I miss something? Kermit has a new gf and Miss Piggy is seeing David Cameron?"

"someone asked : are you coming? me: No, but I'm breathing fast... them: me: them: me: I guess I'll save that one for Twitter"

"A beautiful woman is walking down the street..... A man says to her ""can I smell your pussy?"" She shouts ""No!"" He replies ""Oh, It must be your asshole."""

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night? Lie in bed wondering ""Is there really a dog?"""

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. Edited for spelling, even though the guy was a stuffy old turd about it. :D HEYOOO"

"If a crackhouse is filled with love, it becomes a crackhome.."

"What do we want? A cure for Tourette's! When do we want it? Cunt!"

"The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread."