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Joke of the Day

"Did I miss something? Kermit has a new gf and Miss Piggy is seeing David Cameron?"

"If you watch an Apple store get robbed... Are you an iWitness?"

"What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked? It Hertz."

"Just realized that my spirit animal is Winnie the Pooh. Two words: No pants."

"You had me until the final shot, local commercial. An employee in the back row didn't wave hard enough. No sale."

"I've been hearing a lot about mass murderers lately.... It must be a scary time to be catholic."

"I was wrestling with an Anaconda for 3 days... And then I realised I was masturbating"

"I don't use the car horn much but I will frown harshly at bad drivers and I'm pretty sure it fucks up their day."

"What do you bury a Jewish metalhead in? A Moshe pit!"

"Everyone gets on the fashion industry for unrealistic beauty standards, but can we talk about unrealistic depictions of food on boxes?"