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Joke of the Day

"What comes between fear and sex? funf"

"Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because Pop'eyes couldn't use the same buildings as the former KFCs."

"I've been shopping for my wife's birthday present. What did you get her? A bottle of expensive toilet water. It cost 20. 20! Why didn't you come to my house - you could have had some of ours for free!"

"Two friends are having a game night One friend is a serial killer and the other is a generic man. The man says he sucks at the game. The serial killer says 'that's why it's called the game of Life.'"

"""Quit mowing your lawn you heathen and go to church!"" -Me as I put in earplugs and go back to bed on a Sunday morning."

"For some reason, the Disney movie ""101 Dalmatians"" was much more popular than it's sequel ""Picking up Dog Shit for Eternity."""

"The hardest part about having an ugly child is lying to them when they ask you if you love them."

"James Franco is making a movie about lesbian vampires. I'm betting it'll be a period piece."

"My husband asks too many questions. ""Who is Steve?"" ""Why does he call all the time?"" ""What's this bill for a hotel room?"""

"How do you use a philosophy degree in a professional context? *Why* would you like fries with that?"