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Joke of the Day

"Hello, you've reached 1-800-NARCISSIST, how can you help me?"

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"Why was Cinderella bad at basketball? Because her coach was always a pumpkin."

"I don't know why I would want to ""Keep Up"" with them... I don't even know where Kardashia is. (geography's not my strong suit)"

"Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court? Because he heard the Ref was Blowing Fowls."

"Q: What do you call a snake that makes a lot of noise when it eats? A: A slurpent."

"Have you heard of the new corduroy pillow? It's making headlines"

"Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb? Many hands make light work."

"What's long and white? The line to Starbucks."

"I learned a very important lesson at Mount Rushmore. The best presidents were stoned."