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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink..."

"What Happened to the Man who Threw a Flaming Bag of Poo? He got turd degree burns."

"Deep down, we're all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on."

"You know that feeling you get when you meet someone and your heart skips a beat? Ya, that's arrhythmia. You can die from that."

"What are ISIS militants using to stuff their Thanksgiving goat? Their dicks!"

"How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower? Give her a shovel."

"How do you get a woman to pick cotton?' Set her tampon string on fire."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: I brought a girl home last night 911: That's not an- Me: NOW SHE WON'T LEAVE! *swat team busts down my door*"

" I'm a cat, boy / in a sealed box I hide / I'm Wanted / dead and alive! - Bon Schroedi"

"One of the best jokes of all time... Women's Rights"