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Joke of the Day

"I'd rather take a bullet for my son than cover for him when mom asks who left the dirty dishes in the sink..."

"Boss: Can you look this up? Me: (munching on donut) Internet's closed. Boss: Oh. Me: Yeah, I think they're vacuuming it or something."

"Sometimes I tell my And I laugh at them."

"If you can't buy a person, you can always sell him."

"I used to be into S&M, bestiality and necrophilia Then I realised I was just beating a dead horse."

"How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"A blonde walks into the doctors and explains that she is unable to drink coffee without getting a severe pain in her eye. The doctor replies; ""Maybe take the spoon out before you try drinking it"""

"Yo mama is so stupid she sold her car for gas money."

"My wife yelled, ""This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash"", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over."

"Why is Santa always so jolly? He knows where all the naughty girls live."