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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you take the circumference of a jack'olantern? Pumpkin pie!"
Next Joke
"A suicide bomber goes to Las Vegas to try his luck at the slot machines.... ....he hit the jackpot, and now he's all over the place."
"Why can't you trust anything MATTER says? Because it makes up everything."
"Why could Edward not leave his driveway and get back to his home country? He was Snowden."
"Orion's Belt? A Waist of Space."
"There is one great thing about cancer It does a fantastic job of getting rid of those weird hairless kids."
"What do you get when you remove the center board from a wood bridge? A paradox."
"My lesbian neighbors got me two fake Rolex for my birthday.... I guess they misunderstood when I told them I wanted to watch"
"*gets on 1 knee* Jenny... ""OMG"" *places hand on heart and starts crying* ""This is great!"" *gets on 2nd knee* I'm having a heart attack"
"They should just report when there WASN'T a shooting in Florida at this point"