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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you remove the center board from a wood bridge? A paradox."

"Why did the golfer take a spare pair of trousers with him? Incase he got a hole in one!"

"""Yeah, well your dog isn't a rescue, your snacks are processed and everyone knows you're vaccinated"" - how a kid talks shit in 2015"

"My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer. Girlfriend: ""I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."" Me: ""No baby wait, I can change..."""

"Having sex is like you're doing fractions it is improper for the larger one to be on top"

"How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb? Find out next time, on Dragon Ball Z!"

"Turned up five minutes late so missed the rules... ...but I had an amazing time at this fight club last week, you should definitely look into it and maybe join, we fight in a car park every weekend."

"Did you hear about the French Olympic race walker who pooped his pants mid race? At least he didn't oui in them too."

"i made the mistake of watching a single zit popping video on youtube and now my recommendations screen is trying to make me barf"

"EVERYONE FREEZE THIS IS A ROBBERY! ""What's that?"" It...it's a sawed-off shotgun. ""Aren't you supposed to use the other half?"" ...shit."