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Joke of the Day

"So my girlfriend's sign was Cancer. which is quite ironic considering how she died. She was attacked by a giant crab..."

"I must be fucking great in the sack Every girl I've ever had sex with has told me she wishes it had been longer!"

"What do you call a computer that is running slow? Restarted."

"The Constitution has barely been altered in 200 years, but my $300 textbook is worth $0.82 bc they came out with a new edition mid-semester."

"Why do women close their eyes during sex? Because they can't stand to see a man happy."

"This clown fad is getting out of hand.... They are even running for president of the United States."

"For some reason my dad thinks I'm a private investigator. He keeps calling me a dick."

"What do you call a German tampon? A twatstika."

"Did you hear about the kind and humble Jew that donated a lot of money to charity? Neither did I."

"Why do Muslims not eat pork? Because MaHamHid"