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Joke of the Day

"For some reason my dad thinks I'm a private investigator. He keeps calling me a dick."

"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."

"Some guy knocked on my door today and said, ""I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."" I said ""You've got the wrong house then, mate"""

"I said ""I'm not going to repeat myself"""

"How many telemarkers does it take to change a light bulb? 3. One to change the bulb and two to talk about how beautiful the turns were."

"Why do you need to carry radioactive materials in sealed, lead containers? To stop it from falling out."

"A short poem for y'all... ""*Roses are black* *Violets are black* *Everything's black* *Even I am black*"" - Stevie Wonder"

"Thanks to Twitter, rock bottom now has a waiting list."

"Boss: Tell me a joke Me: I am busy Boss: Good one!! Tell me another"

"I got an e-mail saying 'At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!' I thought 'thats just a spam'"