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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a computer that is running slow? Restarted."

"What's a down-side of being a paedophile? You have to go to bed early."

"Q: What do you say to the banjo player in the three piece suit? A: Will the defendant please rise."

"*tweet gets 3 rts* please no autographs"

"How did Hitler pick up Jewish girls? With a dustpan..."

"I'm taking a vacation before I start a new job. I asked my girlfriend if she'd like to drive through Manitoba along the Hudson Bay to Rankin Inlet. She told me she was having Nunavut."

"If there's one thing I really can't stand when I'm drunk, it's up."

"Donald Trump's first act in office will probably be to illegalize all shredded cheese. He will Make America Grate Again."

"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursElf."

"My friend left his job at a nut factory... Cause they paid him peanuts..."