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Joke of the Day

"[therapy] HIM: Should we talk about the elephant in the room? ME: I don't like to talk about him ELEPHANT: Ok wow I'm like right here man"

"Conan: The US is on pace 2 b the world's largest producer of oil. So if history has taught us anything, the US will soon be invading the US."

"Why was Simba unable to save his dad in the Lion King? He couldnt Mufasa enough."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by this chick"""

"What animal has 5 legs? A pit bull coming back from the playground."

"Why can't animals take tests? Too many cheetahs!!!!"

"Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ? ""Why are we running so fast ?"" said one Because it says ""Tear along the dotted line"""

"some guy said that I slur a lot when I'm drunk I said no I don't you stupid nigger"

"Its girls like u that cause global warming!"

"I don't know what I would do if I got to Greece... ...and couldn't get a single gyro."